day 19: argh!

Friday Update Day. Argh!

I’m normally not a huge fan of the word ‘argh’, but I think it appropriately portrays my feelings about this last week.

Let me start by saying…You know that feeling you have when you have a goal and you are so intent on accomplishing that goal and nothing in the world could stop you from it because you are ultra determined? OK…Now you know that feeling when that feeling goes away? Isn’t that the worst? Well, I can’t say that the determined feeling has gone away completely, this past week, but it has definitely been bumped off the tracks slightly. This is just a tiny peek into my week (peek into my week…that’s cute).

* Shopping and getting ready for my 10 year high school reunion. (It’s tonight…Milestone!)
* Avery’s first day of fourth grade.
*Evenings of getting homework done and trying to keep Avery on track.
*Laundry, cooking and cleaning (but never as much as I should be doing).
*Not a single blog…it’s been literally driving me nuts!

On top of the above, I received a phone call Tuesday morning that my 26 year old brother was in the hospital with heart complications. He has since been released from the hospital and seems to be recovering ok in the comfort of his own home, but he gave us all quite the scare. I should tell him…Next time, just hide in the closet for 20 minutes until you have that perfect opportunity to jump out, scream BOO and make us pee our pants. It’s so much more fun that way! Anthony…I love you!

You might not believe it, but all of this is just the tip of the iceberg. On Saturday night I received the very sad news that my grandpa Stan would have no more than 4 months left to live. He had a difficult battle with cancer and it wasn’t looking good. At that moment, I sat alone and had the most amazing cry ever. It was one of those kind of cry’s where you think of the good times and all of the memories; you cry, you laugh, you cry harder. You think about the fact that you should have visited more, you think about how your mom and the rest of your family is feeling…you cry even harder; until you just can’t cry anymore. Just thinking about that kind of cry, makes me teary eyed. Sadly, my grandpa Stan, didn’t make it 4 months; he passed away at home on September 9, 2009. In honor of my grandpa Stan, I have posted his obituary directly below this post and I’ve added just a couple of my own personal memories of my time with him. Grandpa Stan…I love you!

You get to a point, when being faced with so many different things, that you start to wonder, “Why is MY goal so important”, “I should be focusing on others, not just myself”, “Problems and issues that I’M having aren’t always the most important things in life”. You just have to remember that in order for you to, say, be there for your child who just started school, or your family who has lost a loved one, or a friend or relative with health issues, or to be there for your home…making sure it’s being kept up and that your family is happy and comfortable, or…the list goes on and on; YOU really are the most important element. YOU are the common link and in order for YOU to be at your best, you should feel your best and you should never ever feel guilty or afraid to accomplish your most desirable goals.

Do you like how I direct all of this towards YOU? Really, it is my intention is to reinforce this within MYSELF! At this point in my life, I am required to stay on course, stay consistent and show myself, my son, my friends and family that I CAN DO THIS…I CAN AND WILL FINISH WHAT I’VE STARTED.

And so I say to everyone who is letting life get in the way of your dreams, “Your dreams ARE your life, catch them while you can!”.